But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
