do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize