she woke up with a sticky ear
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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