Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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