4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
