its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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