I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
this is an emotional support booty call
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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