i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
