you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
