I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
