smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
