theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You pole danced in your parka.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
