I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
