what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I would fuck him just for his dog
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
