You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
