Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize