I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize