Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All I want is dick and wine.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
