You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Rumble strips road head = magical
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
