Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
