I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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