So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
