I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
