I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize