yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
they're like a gay fantastic four
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
