don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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