in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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