best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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