in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
