It's just like the Real World with babies
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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