What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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