So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
