Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
