I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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