I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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