she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
