He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
