the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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