it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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