Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?

Fav 106 7110 1278
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic

Fav 4 2666 834
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.

Fav 12 4105 1110
share tweet
(979): View more from Texas

Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

Fav 4 2298 834
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.

Fav 3 949 1426
share tweet
(937): View more from Ohio

My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

Fav 4 3069 940
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.

Fav 5 1146 865
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something

Fav 2 771 415
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(204): View more from Manitoba

carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.

Fav 0 175 94
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT