Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong

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  (908): Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong http://tfl.nu/68mo
  Replies (3) Good night (2585) Bad night (560)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck

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  (780): Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck http://tfl.nu/npsc
  Replies (13) Good night (2266) Bad night (719)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

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  (614): Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy? http://tfl.nu/swws
  Replies (17) Good night (5417) Bad night (795)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...

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  (416): I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed... http://tfl.nu/ew3h
  Replies (18) Good night (1611) Bad night (4555)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat

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  (917): So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat http://tfl.nu/4q7b
  Replies (9) Good night (838) Bad night (5847)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them

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  (239): I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them http://tfl.nu/55o4
  Replies (99) Good night (4770) Bad night (2434)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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  (702): You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever. http://tfl.nu/mih5
  Replies (13) Good night (5253) Bad night (1345)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king

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  (571): I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king http://tfl.nu/c906
  Replies (8) Good night (1948) Bad night (689)
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  (877): View more from

  Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik

  (877): View more from

  Lyk hr kuds 4

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  (877): Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik (877): Lyk hr kuds 4 http://tfl.nu/neej
  Replies (12) Good night (924) Bad night (1611)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag

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  (905): today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag http://tfl.nu/a7zv
  Replies (5) Good night (1642) Bad night (752)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.

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  (401): she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/1xr0
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (1037)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

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  (303): Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/ft15
  Replies (5) Good night (829) Bad night (389)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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  (910): I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!" http://tfl.nu/ji9a
  Replies (2) Good night (926) Bad night (331)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.

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  (202): Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels. http://tfl.nu/1sci
  Replies (5) Good night (1339) Bad night (524)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate

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  (306): yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate http://tfl.nu/3igr
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (321)

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