she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.