I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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