i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
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When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize