Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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