so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Let's get the cat blown out
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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