that's what penises do
they tell lies.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize