I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
And then he peed in my hair
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