Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
