Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize