If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize