So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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