hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize