Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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