Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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