hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I understand Curling. That high.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
