she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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