She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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